Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
