she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
