anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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