We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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