I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
