using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
