I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
