Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
