the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize