my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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