She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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