Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
