Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
