I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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