is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
it's like heaven, but drunker
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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