Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
