: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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