Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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