Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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