You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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