have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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