I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
