Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
This couple is walking their pig around campus
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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