that's an acceptable place to lick
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize