Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
