it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
