She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
