Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
