I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
