GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
