ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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