there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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