I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
