Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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