I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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