Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
