you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
