Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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