im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
