My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
