And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
