At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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