maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
