i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
