I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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