Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
