Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
