My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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