booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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