if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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