"it" just moved
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Randomize
