Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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