sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
