She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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