i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
