i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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