It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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