okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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