She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
