Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
