i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
sex in a hospital.. check
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
