I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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